Iam mens praetrepidans avet vagari. - Catullus
(Now the mind, trembling in anticipation, wishes to wander.)
So, last week, a bat came into the television room while I was interwebbing and started circling around my head. I named him Bruce, and then proceeded to leave the room. I then came to the realisation that this must mean that I am Batman, and I need to uphold JUSTICE. I AM VENGEANCE. I AM THE NIGHT. I AM BATMAN!
About an hour ago, I went downstairs for a late dinner, and Mom was supposed to join me. As soon as I turned the light on, TWO bats started flying around my head. See, I’m not scared of bats. I just think they’re really cute. But having them fly really fast just mere inches from your head…that’s a different story. So I screamed at the top of my lungs and closed all the doors I could. They disappeared into the front of the house, and Mom and I emailed our French tenant upstairs. So, Pierre came down and was like…”There’s a bat in my room, too!” We then proceeded to lure Bruce and Wayne (the two new bats) into corners of the living room. Using our pond skimmer net, we trapped them between the wall and the mesh and tried to slide a flattened box under the net to catch it. We got Wayne out okay, but Bruce was stubborn. For a second, we thought he literally crawled into the wall. But we got him caught…only for him to escape. Then he flew into a wall and got stunned, and we sent him outside.
So, the moral of this story: I AM TRIPLY BATMAN.